Be My Own Boss?

After 15 years of saying that I could probably do a better job running a caregiver company I am thinking that’s exactly what I might do.  Not open up a large group of homes or anything. More like Be My Own Boss and have several clients that I take care of on a one-on-one basis in their homes.

Take them to their appointments,  shopping, running errands and some light housekeeping.  Get a steady income and my own insurance. The way I  can still help people in need and not deal with all the Drama.

Yeah I am going to do a little research and see how much potential this idea has.  I need to do something.  I have had enough.

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Naked Clean Up and More

A very good morning my blogging friends!  How are you on this beautiful Friday?  I hope it is going well for you all.  The morning started off a little rough here when the wash tub in the laundry room  over flowed.  You know one of those freaky accidents.  But nobody was hurt by it and that is always the bright spot.  The silver lining is the cat boxes that I was going to clean later are done and the laundry room floor has been mopped.  So Woo-Hoo a win.  Thank God you all weren’t here though.  I came  out naked when I heard it overflow and  to help clean up.  That is a lot fat dead chicken white for anybody to suffer through.  Lol.  Only one caught by  the horrific sight was my Momma, but since I rarely shut bathroom door she is probably immune by now.  Was that a TMI paragraph?  Probably.

So today is a pretty busy day.  I am taking Momma to see the hearing aid man.  He is very nice and I think he appreciates our Silliness.  Then we have a little shopping to do.  Last minute items I forgot and cat litter because three cats really do shit A LOT.  Then I would like to get a three hook Shepard’s Pole for the front lawn and a few hanging baskets.  I fight myself about getting them, but I really love flowers and if I take a little bit of time to water when I get home at night when it is cool we could have beautiful flowers all summer.

The weight loss struggle is still not going well.  My own fault obviously.  I know EXACTLY what to do.  I just get so wrapped up in my stress, worry and anger that I eat all those feelings.  It sucks and I know I have to get a handle on that.  I am hoping that between my renewed desire to write and my newer found love of vlogging I can get my shit under control.

David’s surgery has been scheduled for July 9th.  Cross you fingers, eyeballs, say prayers, light candles or whatever the fuck you do to help things go his way.  The amount of pain he has everyday hurts my heart and soul.  I don’t think people truly understand how bad it is, because he doesn’t let it show often.  Not even to me.

Well my beautiful friends there is so much more I would love to chat about but it’s getting close to time to leave.  Have a fantastic week and love to you all.

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Mother’s Day and Stuff

Good morning.  Momma just bought this awesome chair for the computer desk.  It’s big enough to fit all of my ass in without any leakage on each side.  The fucker is huge, but comfy.  I mean I would love to attach it to my ass so I would always have a great place to sit.  but it would be so awkward when I have to pee or drive.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mothers out there.  Family, friends, forest creatures and fish.  Being a mother isn’t easy no matter what you are.  For Mother’s Day David and I ordered flowers for our mothers.  I know some  people think we took the easy way out, but hey our mothers are in their 80’s so they pretty much have it or buy what they want.   Usually I listen for “I would really like to get” sentences from them  and file that into my memory for gift ideas, but there haven’t been a lot of those lately.

I got one more mother to go see.  I don’t know if I will get to it today or not.  But she is at Christian Memorial so she isn’t going anywhere.  Did that seem crude?  Well she would appreciate  the humor in it.

Tomorrow is a busy day.  Taking DJG to the hospital for some stuff (surgery prep no worries),  then Brandy and Momma to the vet and then me to work.  Busy days are good.  Keeps the hands off candy and candy off my ass.

Well it’s time to get busy. I have clothes in the washer and dryer.  All the animals are overdue for their flea treatment so I am going to do that.  And then it will be pretty darn close to the time I need to start getting ready for work.  The speaking of work…I took some time off this week so I could use some of my 120 hours of vacation time.  When I figured out my time card I have my 40 plus 6 hours of overtime.  Does that mean I am an overachiever or a failure?  Lol

Have a fantastic Mother’s Day and a great week.

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I Surrender

Sometimes you have to wave the white flag, let Jesus take the wheel or whatever other clever sayings are out there because you can do no more.    So you step back and see.   That is difficult for me because I am a fixer.  But you can’t fix others.  Only yourself and I am trying.

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So much Sunshine!

I love it.  My day started early because I am working the morning shift.  Which is cool because it gives me the afternoon free.

It was a strange weekend.  Lots of stuff going on.  Met my local emergency personal when I called 911.  All very nice people.  And the overnight staff at Troy Beaumont were amazing.  I won’t go into details because it’s not my story to tell, but I will say all is good at the casa.

I am going to attempt to clean out my car today.  When I opened the backdoor for Libby to jump in it was trashed and she shouldn’t have to deal with that.

And I need to do the bird cage as well.  It’s in dire need of a cleaning and a new birdie bed.

Yesterday was one of my Little Darlings Birthday and I totally forgot.  It upsets me when I do something like that.  But we will have a little party of Monday.

Well I need to go get busy.  Enjoy this amazing day!

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Looking Out Unto The Water

At work.  Never thought I would say that.  But we have moved the ladies into their new home.  It is beautiful and being on the water is just amazing.

It’s cold outside, but the sun is shining and no snow.  My mom cracked me up the other day.  It’s was snowing and she said, “It’s April shower bring May flowers.  Nobody said anything about fucking snow.”. Love that about her.

Been dealing with some blues and anger issues.  Which leads to emotional eating.  But I decided to be proactive about it.  I ask if I could temporarily increase my meds.  I got the ok so in the next week or so I will start feeling better.

There was a time I would have just suffered through.  Because I thought that strong people just muddle through.  But that is such bullshit.  It takes a strong person to say I needed help.  Weather changes, stress at work and some health concerns of those I love takes it’s toil.

Well my beautiful friends enjoy the rest of your Sunday.  I will.

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Sleep Appears To Be Overrated

So  tonight I get home and manage to get my butt in bed a reasonable time.  I look at the clock and say to myself cool I can get eight and a half hours sleep.  I pass out.  Wake up a couple of hours later because I have gotten warm.  That of course leads me to have to pee.  I pee and lay back down.  I toss and turn in my bed.  I sit up and play some games on my tablet.  Try to fall back to sleep.  Nope.

So here it is 4:30 AM  and I am still awake.  Don’t get me wrong, I have accomplished some things.  I did some banking, ordered a pair of earrings and finally ordered the photos of my nephew and his family.  I have also had 12oz of decaf coffee and mixed it with a vanilla protein shake so I don’t inhale the whole fucking fridge.

Tomorrow I take my Little Darlings to see their new home and I start shopping around for a moving company.  It’s also nail and bill paying day.  I really want to get my eyebrows and hair done but that may have to wait for another day.

My nieces going away party is Saturday.  I will go because she needs a proper send off, but the way I  am feeling right now it’s going to take a bit of work to be sociable.  I am just so fucking exhausted I just don’t even want to talk right now.  Just nod to people.

Well my baby is curled up on the floor sound asleep so I am thinking I should get us both tucked back into bed.  I can get another three hours of sleep.  Good night friends and sweet dreams.

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I Am A Cow

Or that is what one guy called me at the gas station.  He was heading in as I was heading out and he just let the door close on me.  His friend caught the door and held it for me.  The guy said, “What? I don’t hold the door for Cows.”

Now there was a time when such ignorance would have made me so angry that I would have tore that kid a new asshole.  But when I look at the world around me such ignorance is just becoming a regular occurance.  It’s not even worth my time to waste my breath on a kid like that.

Besides Cow…how is that any different then Bitch, Cunt, Twatwaffle, Whore, Slut or the other thousand names I have been called over the years?  When someone calls me a bitch I say thank you.  So why give Cow a second thought?  But I did give it a second thought and a third.  And by the fourth thought I started to smile.  Cow.  Laugh a bit even.  Because that means I am strong and people want to eat me. How fitting is that. Lol  See I can turn anything into a dirty joke with a silver lining.

I have two thoughts… My first thought  is this kid is going to get his due Karma.  My other thought is one day this kid is going to call someone else a cow and get the living snot beat out of him.  Either way I am good with it.  Lol

So I am a Cow.  Moo.  LOL

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Graceful I Think Not

I  am by no means a graceful woman.  But since I have lost over a hundred pounds I am getting better.  But this morning while walking one of my residents into workshop I caught my foot in the door and down I went.

Which hurt like a son of a bitch. But the cool part was in the past I would have needed a chair, two people and a crane to get off the floor.  This time I just crawled to the wall and worked my way up.  Woo hoo!   A small victory in the weight loss journey.

Thankfully other than two sore knees and one sore shoulder I am good.  I am taking it easy today and my coworker is pulling up my slack (thank you Krishelle).

Well hopefully I can stay upright for a while.  Avoid any closing doors and floors. Wish me luck.

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Hello my friends.  Been a while, but here I am.  7AM and awake when I really should be sleeping.

I am a worrier.  I am very good at it.  I am an emotional eater.  I am very good at that too.  These two things feed off each other (pardon the pun) making me eat and have more anxiety.

A couple of weeks ago someone I work with had a family emergency and she needs more time to help out.  This person has been fantastic to me over the years so I offered to help.

Call it fate or answered prayers but I had recently decided I was tired of the bills looming and the wolf knocking at my door.  The anxiety of the what ifs was killing me.  I literally have nothing in case we have an emergency.  I can’t live like that.

So I am currently in machine mode.  Which means I am working all that I can and I will will continue to do so for as long as it takes to get things paid off and a little money in the bank.

Yes I am tired. Yes many days I just want to say fuck it and run away from my problems, but as we know problems have a way of Finding us.

So bear with me my friends.  It’s not easy but I will do my best to not be a total fuck wad in the process.



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