Good morning my friends. I am taking advantage of a little alone time to write and reflect. Not that I really have anything profound to say, but still the saying is reflection is good for the soul.
Yesterday was my Daddy’s birthday. I let it pass without mentioning it to a soul. Partly because the number of people who it actually mattered to has dwindled so much and partly because I just miss him so. He would have been 81. I sometimes think how he might have been if he were still alive. I am not happy that he is gone, but with the health problems he faced my thoughts are he wouldn’t have been happy at 81. He left us still smart as a tack, though going blind he could still see us and he still had his amazing smile. I think he would be proud of the woman I am becoming now. It took sometime to find out who that was.
In six days my brother will been gone three months. That my friends is still hard to comprehend. Such a short time from diagnosis to his loss. I was not prepared for that. I think of him often and hope that he sees what we all have done and it gives him some peace that we could help out in some small way.
I lost a friend a dear friend during my brother’s illness. I was selfish and focused so much on me and what my family was going through I never bothered to ask about theirs. Something I regret and have apologized for, but it came to late. It’s a loss that I will feel for a lifetime, because I took for granted that friendship would always be there.
Looking at June and beyond. My plan is to stay the course. Keep trying to be the person I know I can be. To count my blessings and to move forward. In little more than a month and a half I will be 50. Which seemed so old when I was a kid. LOL There has been talk of a big party and that would be so nice. But to be honest I think I would like to bring 50 in quietly. Welcome the next step of this amazing journey with a little cake, some flowers and perhaps a few new books to read.
Well it’s time to get things set up for breakfast. Get the coffee pot ready to brew for David, make sure there is a boiled egg and cinnamon toast for Momma and feed our fur babies. Have an amazing day friends and remember YOU ARE LOVED.
