I feel like I should have that written on a shirt. Or several shirts because it seems to be my current state of mind. I know what needs to be done. Bills need to be paid, groceries need to be bought, house needs to be cleaned and yet I find I just wanting to curl up and watch crime shows.
I know part is the difficulty sleeping with the knees aching. The fear that I have so much to do I get paralyzed into doing nothing in case I do something wrong. I know the worst thing I can do is nothing. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But at the same time when the body is weak and the mind is troubled, there is fear in trying and perhaps failing AGAIN. Like this time I may not be able to pull it all back together.
How do I move forward when I am so fucking tired, in physical pain and emotionally fucked up? Does somebody got the answer? In my mind I keep hearing you just do. One step at a time. One wince of pain. One decision at a time. But the it comes back to Lacking the Motivation. It’s a pretty fucked up cycle.