D O N E.  What? D O N E.  What does that mean?  Why are you saying that?  Talk to me?  W H Y?  So I can help you.

Laughable.  On repeat.  Better. Different. Try.  You don’t understand.  It’s not the same for You.

D O N E.  What does that mean? D O N E. I don’t understand.  D O N E.

Are you upset?  Is it me? Work? The Family? I’m really trying here.  If you don’t explain I can’t help you.

D O N E.  I’m sick of this.  D O N E. Okay I’m the mother fucking bad guy.  D O N E. What the fuck ever.

You need to figure your shit out.  It’s your drama not mine.


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You Say It’s Your Birthday…

July is a busy month for Birthdays (including mine). People begin asking what are you going to do for your birthday? What do you want? How old are you going to be? All valid questions and other than I my soon to be age I don’t have a fucking clue.

Really I am thankful to have birthdays. It means I have made it another year in this big(sometimes fucked up) beautiful world. But Birthdays don’t hold the same importance as they once did. I have my license, can legally drink beer and had the Lordy, Lordy look whose 40 thing.

I guess what I am trying to say is yes Birthdays are awesome, but after a certain number of them you start to change. For me I am trying to see everyday as awesome. I mean after all Life Really Is What We Make It. Happy Birthday July Babies.

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Sometimes It’s Hard To Be Grateful

Some mornings I wake up, begin the day and just smile. Another day means another chance to do something good, fun or just different. Some days the dog gets in the way and I accidentally pee on the floor trying not to step on her. I begin that type off day thinking this day is going to suck.

I fully believe that if I start my day with the right attitude it can be a pretty good day. On a good day I wake up, pull the covers up on my side of the bed. Use the restroom. Head to the kitchen to pick out my coffee flavor and combine it with my favorite protein drink. I take my meds, check if I need to load or unload the dishwasher (usually both) and if I have time start some clothes. I feed my fur babies giving each of them forehead kisses (they tolerate this because I am feeding). Then if it’s a work day I get ready for work. If it’s an off day I figure out what to do next.

Then there are Negative Nancy days and the day usually goes like this. Wake up. Have to pee. Dog is excited we are waking up gets in the way. I step on a cat toy and think it’s a cat. Hit foot on table and pee myself. That sets the mood. Go out to the kitchen, but do not make any coffee, but I pour a cup of pop. I might remember my pills. I feed my fur babies (they still get kisses). I look at the dishes and the laundry and I say fuck this shit. I go back to bed. If it is a work day I wake with just enough time to leave for work. If it’s an off day I turn on Netflix and I am done for the day.

Lately there seem to be more Negative Nancy days. When the day starts off rough it’s extremely hard for me to turn it around. I think honestly I quit trying to. It is so much easier to wallow. To wake up and say I don’t feel good so I am not doing ANYTHING. For every ache and pain to mean I should give up on the day. I have been taking the easy way out.

Then one day I look down at Libby’s face. There is so much love there. I run my hand through Lilly’s fur and she mews. I look around MY HOUSE and see what I have earned and done. I realize I need to take better care of it. It meaning my life. If I wake up and accidentally pee on the floor. Put down a towel, get cleaned up and shake that shit off. If someone else’s mood is negative let it go in one ear and out the other. Hell I may even just half listen and in my head picture a hot fudge sundae. I need to focus on the the good and be grateful for them.

Sure some days are still going to be shitty (even if I don’t pee on the floor), that is just life. But that doesn’t mean that life is shitty or the next day needs to be. It means coming home, reviewing the day and deciding what can I do tomorrow to make it better. What do I have to be grateful for?

Some days I sit down to figure out what I was grateful for that day and it’s hard to find something. Or it seems like I am grateful for the same things. Great coworkers, Libby kisses, a big hug from EHubs. Two things occurred to me. 1) I need to look for the positives in EVERYDAY and be grateful no matter how shitty the day is. 2) There is nothing wrong with being grateful for the SAME THING EVERYDAY. A blessing is a blessing no matter how many times it occurs. A Libby kiss is just as wonderful today as it was yesterday. A hug from EHubs is still the best feeling even though I have been getting them for 25 years.

What kind of day are you having? What are you grateful for today? Remember we have the ability to make each day a positive or a negative one. It’s in our power to chose.

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Staycation Post #2

It is Saturday and the second to the last day before vacation ends. The laundry is spinning, dinner is in the oven and dish washer is loaded. Man I love this shit! I am like in my idea of heaven right now. After I get done with this post I am going to fold clothes, have some dinner and then get ready for Bunco. Maybe even put on a little make-up? If I remember how? Lol

Having this little vacation has put me in a different head space. I used to feel like I needed to be famous, remembered and all that big serious shit. But being home with David and the fur babies like this has shown me how life could be. I make meals for my family, I watch tv with David with Lilly curled up with me. My floors are vacuumed, my bed is made and even my bathroom is cleaner. Simple and happy. Lol

Yes I will continue to do my job to the best of my abilities but I want my life to be about more. I am so happy being me now. So I don’t want to be all about work anymore. I want my life to have facets like a diamond. Beautiful and full of sparkles.

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Staycation Post -As Promised

Goood Morning Friends. It is day three of my staycation and I am enjoying the fuck out of it. I made this big huge list of things that I want to accomplish and I am marking them off one by one. Now the list is as big as my ass (42 things) so I probably won’t get them all done, but I will accomplish as many as I can. So far I have marked off 9 of them and I am good with that.

Today I did the one set of cat boxes. I didn’t break down the Litter Bot yet because I am afraid I may break something. I prefer to wait until David can help me. I got the trash gathered, the fridge cleaned out and trash can to the road. Yeah I looked super sexy in my Crocs and my pink cat print robe. LOL! I also got the small grocery order in. This isn’t my shopping week, but I am making special desserts and we are having company. So I needed some stuff.

I decided that I am going to Vlog everyday this week. Give the YouTube world a chance to get to know me a bit. I still have no idea what I am going to talk about most days, but hey I will wing it.

I need to call my sister in law and check and see if Momma is available for a visit on Friday. I miss her and no Staycation would be complete without a visit with mom. For those of you that used to follow her on Momma’s Corner she is doing well considering she is 86 years old. To be honest I think the hip surgeries affected her cognitive abilities a little bit, but that is expected with age. Still beautiful, funny and kind.

The fur babies are scattered around the house napping. Libby is laying by my feet. Ash is in a cat tree enjoying the sun. Willow is cooling her belly on the wood kitchen floor. Onyx and Lilly are sleeping with David in the bed.

The remainder of today is going to be a combination of things. I plan to work on some more things on my list. A long shower because there is no rush today. Heading to Nails On Main for my Nails and Pedicure. Then home to get David and we are driving Erin’s cage to Fowlerville to donate to a rescue. Then if we got time tablet shopping before we go pick up groceries.

A whole day of kicking ass and taking names. I know many people want to go exotic places and drink booze with umbrellas on their vacations, but for me I am in heaven my friends. I want so badly to get my house decluttered and organized that this is awesome way to spend a vacation. Work a little and play a little. Should really figure out how to do that in daily life. BUT that is a whole other blog post. Take Care Friends.

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March Madness

I know when many people hear that term they are thinking basketball, but in my life it means the month of change. Snow melts. The beautiful yard is just a mine field of winter poop that I need to clean up. The fur babies start to shed the heavy coats and if we are lucky so do you and I.

Are we on the downward side of Covid? Will I get my shot this month? Will we be able to enjoy such things are Bunco and game night again soon?

I get three paychecks in March. Now I decide how to use them in the best possible manner to support my family. I have a vacation this month. My plan was a a trip to Scotland to visit one of my dearest friends and scratch that trip off my bucket list. Perhaps next year for my 50th Birthday.

My plans for this vacation are so very simple…rest, Netflix, some baking and some house cleaning. I would love a game day too, but who knows.

Doesn’t sound to much like Madness when I type it out. But along with that come the thoughts. What is happening at work? Is everybody ok? I could be making overtime pay and that would help with the bills. Why is my yard so uneven? What if one of the guys sprains his ankle while cutting the lawn? Is Onyx losing to much hair? I need to clean off the back porch. Are we looking like trailer trash? I would like to have dinner out, but what is safe? What if they call me to get my shot and I miss the call because I am not working. Then I won’t be able to see Mom. Maybe I should cancel my Netflix and Hulu to save money. But if I do that what would I watch on the midnight shift? I couldn’t live without my Supernatural! Maybe I shouldn’t bake it’s just an excuse to eat more. Besides that cost more money because I don’t keep all that stuff in the house. How are my brothers? Have I reached out lately? Do they need anything? Should I call? I miss my Mom. Oh yeah the one disowned me. I hope he is safe and working. How are they both feeling? Did I get our meds filled and are there any appointments coming up?

That is March Madness. Well actually that is daily madness, but you get the point. The mind goes. I want to be the best me I can be, but I feel frequently I am falling short. It is a thought pattern I must change. So this March I am going try to calm the madness so I can enjoy the little things.

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Buzzing About Like…

A crazy fucking Bee. That is pretty much how I feel right now. I got so much stuff I want to do and so little time to do it in. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful for the job and the overtime is helping with the bills, but I have this desire to make my own self improvements.

I am working on my own personal improvements. Like eating a bit better, definitely trying to sleep more and take more care of my body (it maybe fat but it’s mine).

I am also working around the house. Trying to organize and declutter. That way I have less shit to keep up with and more free time. If it’s something you are interested there are a lot of great YouTube Channels for this!

And I am still couponing. I enjoy it because I hunt for the best deals, use some math and most of what I get I give to family, friends or donate. I am currently researching charities and rescues because in 2021 I decided we were going to give a little support to a couple. Whether stuff from couponing or a $5 donation. Whatever works.

You know David and I are coming up on 50 fast and I felt like we were just existing, not really living so we needed to change that. By reaching out, by trying new things and becoming the people we were meant to be. An example David really wants to try a Sushi Box ( I think that is what it’s called) which I am super leery of doing. But I an going to try because it’s on his list. So hopefully he and I can start living and stop just existing.

Well time to go transfer the laundry and start another load. Good night friends. Stay warm and safe.

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Be It Ever So Humble…

There is absolutely no place like home. Especially after a couple of rough days at work. When the clock barely appears to be moving on the wall and I swear if I hear my name called ONE more time I may just choke someone.

But I made it and for the next 16 hours I am just Cindy. Cindy at home. Braless, shoeless and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket me. My plans are simple a dinner that can just be put in the oven and forgotten about until it’s done, a few light chores and get a little work done on my filing system.

After that if David wants to put the new bed frames together we will do that. If not than Hulu here I come.

It’s the little things that make such a difference in my life right now.

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Lion or Lamb

You guys have heard the saying in like a lion and out like a lamb. People keep saying thank God 2020 is almost over.  2021 will be better.  And on and on and on.  Hell yes 2020 was rough we got Covid for fucks sake!  But this year David and I learned a lot about ourselves and other people.

While many people were struggling financially this year David and I did ok.  Mostly because I worked a shit ton and he took care of the stuff he could with the pets and house.  We worked as a team.

That teamwork allowed us to be able to donate to a couple of different causes near and dear to our hearts.  We donated pet food, pet carriers, blankets and toys to our favorite rescues.  I started couponing so we could stock up on things that we need while we have a little extra money.  But nobody needs 15 containers of toothpaste so we began donating to friends and charities. That is something I plan to continue to do.

We also learned a lot about the people in our lives.  Those that we can count on and those that we needed to say goodbye to.  It was tough to reach out for help when we needed it.  I don’t like to ask for help, but this year I did it.  For the most part the people in my life were just amazing.  I did however get my heart broken a time or two by the actions of others.  But that is ok, that is how we grow.

The end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021 for us is going to be about us continuing to grow as people and figuring out what we can do to be better.

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Libby Turns 4!

That’s right my beautiful girl turns 4 years old today.  The plan is a goodie from Pet Supplies Plus, a can of her favorite wet dog food and all the belly rubs she can handle!   I’m not even a dog and that sounds pretty good to me.

When Tyler died at about 13 I told myself no more dogs.  It’s to hard.  But every set of big beautiful eyes I saw and every face full of kisses I got from other people’s dog weakened my resolve.  So I went looking for a rescue, not a puppy and I was looking into pit bulls because they get such a bad wrap.  Met with one or two dogs and it didn’t work out.  Headed over to the Michigan Human Society because the website said young pit bull pups need a home.

When we got there we started looking around for the pups and this little black lab with white paws just jumped right up and said look at me!  And we did.  Love at first sight.  Born December 23rd.  The only one of her litter not to get parvo and die. Her name at MHS was Libby and we kept it because it fit.

She came home with us April 26 she was a little over 4 months old and just a little girl who wouldn’t even walk into the the pet store with us to get a new collar.  David had to push her in the cart.

Now she is game for going for bye-bye rides anytime she can.  He favorite is McDonalds because they have the best fries in her opinion.  My once little lap pup is now 63 pounds of love and kisses.

Right now as I type she is curled up in my chair napping, but occasionally opening one eye to make sure I didn’t try to sneak off to bed without her.  She is such a gift, she fills my heart with such love and I am so glad she picked us.  Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

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