Yes it is an interesting title, but it’s what I am dealing with the most right now. Not actual physical Pan in my butt. But the daily dealings of other people’s emotions and feelings. Butt Hurt is when an individual is upset about something and either withdraws or interacts but with an attitude about something. Now the person this is directed at is supposed to know or a least notice enough to ask what is wrong. You with me so far?
As a person who deals with numerous people in many different settings I appear to cause Butt Hurt frequently. And in the past I would go through and try to solve or smooth over whatever the issue is. BUT (the other kind this time) this week I realized I spend a lot of time and emotional eating doing this. Which seems like bullshit to me. So I am going to wait to those with issues either get over it or come to me. Their drama, their waded panties or flying monkeys. Whatever phrase works for them.
My biggest drama moves in 7 days after a minor set back. My other drama I am handling on my own without the Butt Hurts. So I am expecting others to do the same. Somewhere along the lines we became a society where we expect our minds read and our problems solved. That’s not how it works people.
In six days my life is going to get so much better. Six days and one little change will help so much. Just about a year ago an individual came into my life and it has been battle after battle ever since. I find I overeat, I stay tired and emotionally drained all the time. And the biggest part is watching other people around me deal with this person and he/she is worse with them. So in six days this person becomes a memory and the people I love will be able to heal a bit emotionally.
This week I do not have a single day off. But that is ok. I will still rock this week. We have some decorating to do. Well I must go now. I have a busy, busy day tomorrow. Have a great night.
Yesterday was officially the first day of fall. In Michigan that doesn’t mean a whole lot. One minute it’s cool, tomorrow it could be 80 degrees or it could be snowing. That is the joy of The Great Lake State.
At work the staff already have up the Halloween and some Thanksgiving decorations. I guess we are decorating for Hallowgiving. Lol
So I started a journal today. Not on the computer but in a journal book. One where I actually have to write shit down with a pen. My plan is to carry it with me and when I feel like stuffing my face over something that has happened or that I am worried about I am going to write it down. I need to get myself under control and I hope this helps. I don’t think people understand that what they say can sometimes trigger my issues, but I don’t want people to quit talking to me.
I have another extremely busy week this week. There was a time that I didn’t mind, but with the Drama Queen living here now I can honestly say I hate coming to work. I mean literally every single day I lay in my bed and say I should just take today off just to get away from this bitch. Lol. But since I live off the overtime I get my ass out of bed and go.
Have I told you lately how lucky I am to have the furry children that I have? My Lilly just turned 3 the other day. She is such a little gift all covered in fur. I love that she will come in and curl up and sleep on me still. My Libby is starting to walk with her Grandma. It’s good for both of them, but I worry just a bit that my little horse will get excited and trip Grandma, but they appear to be doing good. Cali is still such a love. Older than dirt but still comes up for lovins and will curl up in our laps and sleep. Erin even though he doesn’t have fur, he has feathers, but he just loves his Dad and Grandma. He will play with his bell for his Dad and sit in the corner of the cage to talk to Grandma. My little blessings. My friend has a friend with a little black kitten without a tail. I keep on teasing David that I am going to get it and name it Moo Shu. LOL
Next weekend we have some stuff going on. David has a Magic Event on Friday. There is a Craft Show on Saturday I would like to attend at Clarkston High School and we have Bunco on Saturday night. Sunday I hope to get Erin’s cage cleaned but I have to be into work a little bit early that day so that is a big maybe.
The following week David goes to see the surgeon and I hope the neck collar comes off for good. And if it does I can start looking at a bed base and frame and get him out of that hospital bed. And then the beds can be pushed back together. Which will help with space in my room and in bed. Sharing my twin size bed with Libby and Lilly is a challenge. Lol.
Well my friends it is time for my chatty ass to go get busy. Enjoy your week,
My friend the other day had posted on Facebook an entry that said please keep your pumpkin spice out of my margarita. That basically goes to show the battle between summer people and fall people. I am a fall girl. Cider, donuts, falling leaves and of course Halloween. But I don’t want to rush it either. I’ll take as many warm days as I can get. but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it.
Monday I went to Michaels with Mom and I saw some really cool Halloween stuff. But the bathroom there was closed so the overwhelming urge to pee stop me from taking the time to show Mom what I saw. We will definitely have to go back and take a look. Just for fun because we got enough Halloween shit for two houses. Lol . I took a couple pictures but it’s much more impressive in person. But I’ll share them with you anyway.
As you can see it’s not cheap but man is it cool. Its like the Christmas Village for Halloween. Lol
So work sucks and that is all I am going to say about that.
Well time to go back to work. Take care friends.
Two days ago I started to feel it and I started to smile. A calmness is coming back to me. A combination of diet change, remembering my meds and realizing I am doing ok.
Not amazing, but ok and that is alright. I am getting things Done. Maybe a little slower than I hoped, but still making shit happen.
We are making it to the appointments, I am keeping track of the paperwork. I am paying the bills when the money comes in.
Could it be better? Of course, couldn’t it be for everyone? But I am counting my blessings right now. David is improving, Momma is healthy and my fur babies are bundles of love. And everything else is either working its way out or I am tossing it out. Lol.
Well David should be done with Blood draw soon. Next stop home for a nap. God I love naps. Talk to you later my Friends.
So I have been thinking about fun. You remember fun right? Something that you do because you want to, not because you need money or obligation. FUN. This began as I was drooling on Amazon the other day. I saw an awesome passport cover and I thought I don’t have a passport. Man wouldn’t it be cool to get one and plan a trip. That sounds like fun.
And then I asked myself what else sounds fun? Hmmmm…Paint and wine night, miniature golf, bowling and Bunco Monthly. What else? Movies at the theater, Ren Fest, Tulip Time Festival, DIA and silly day trips just to see silly things.
So I am starting with Bunco next month, more $5 movies and miniature golf. All are relatively cheap and easy on the knees. I will definitely work up to the passport and trip.
Oh my beautiful friends the Axsom/Gokey household is going to be going through some changes. Good ones. Healthy ones. NEEDED ONES. David and I went to several different doctors since he got out of the hospital and he has so much going on. I won’t go into details because it’s not my business to share, but a lot can be helped by a change in diet and weight loss. So he has agreed to start helping himself out by working on the diet. I know once he starts feeling better with that he will want to stop smoking. It’s just a matter of time.
So today I am doing the search for make ahead healthy meals for my family. Momma sure doesn’t need to lose anymore weight but a little more protein in her diet would be good. Hell yeah I am game. If there isn’t a lot of crap in the house I can’t eat it. And I know that if me doing the right thing helps them I will do well. That is my caregiver nature.
I am really hoping that all these things help me to feel good again too. I miss the energy I had. I miss not having the knee and back pains. The fucked up part is I know all these things are correctable by diet and life change and yet I still put it off. That my friends is some fucked up shit.
Well Pintrest is calling my name. Wish me luck and if you have any meal ideas please speak up. C ya soon.
That is a phrase I use a lot at work with my residents. Usually something like you got fifteen more minutes before bath time so make them count. Lol. But the last three weeks I also use it at home. It’s hard to shower in a neck brace when a person can’t twist, look down or bend over. But I am pleased to say that David and I have gotten it down to a pretty good routine now. In the beginning I didn’t think we ever would. But like I said it took some adjustments. You know what the best part of giving showers at home? Not having to be all dressed. I can shower him in my underwear. They would frown on that work. Lol
Speaking of work Happy Anniversary to me. I have been at this company 15 years. There have been good years, bad years and in between years. But I have met some of the most amazing people during my time there. Many have moved on to other things but are still in my heart. I also so had some fantastic residents of the years. Way more good than bad. Without this job I would have never met my beloved Wart. She is the reason I became a caregiver I am absolutely certain of that. I met her later in my career, but no one has meant more to me. She passed away Two years ago yesterday, but I still miss her every single day.
Well it’s almost shower time so I am going to say good night. Sweet Dreams my beautiful friends and we will visit again soon.
Or I could be a Busy Fat Bee I am not particular. Greetings friends. It’s Sunday evening and the end of one of those weeks. You know the kind, the kind where you wished you were a drinker.
I don’t even know where to start. David is doing pretty good. He has a couple of appointments tomorrow and some on Wednesday. Two weeks from Tuesday he goes back to see the surgeon to see what his progress is. Momma has been dealing with some stuff. Brandy has developed a seizure disorder, but Dr. Corey is hoping to find the best medication to lessen the symptoms. I am doing better. I am taking it day by day and hoping for the best.
I went down to visit my brother today. I haven’t seen him since Christmas. We had breakfast and chatted a bit. I really enjoyed it. Just him and me, no drama. I hope to meet up with my other brother soon for breakfast and a chat. I miss seeing them both.
So I got my laptop out and started getting it updated today, I am going to start the job hunt and see if I can find something to do when I grow up.
I wanted to do a short story thing with my mom where she writes some on her blog, I pick up where she leaves off and see what kind of masterpiece we could come up with. But it looks like that is on hold for now.
Well my fantastic friends I am going to go get busy. I got some things I need to do before tomorrow. Have a fantastic night.
People aren’t sure how to handle quiet Cindy. Am I mad? Sick? Lost in thought? So many times people draw their own assumptions which is kind of silly when they could just ask. Today is a lost in thought kind of day which is why I am here.
Lots going on in the old melon, but just not up to discussing it with people. So much going on around me and I am trying to trying to process all that. Processing takes time and sometimes people don’t want to give me time. So right now I am in the you push me phase I am going to just shut down phase of all this.
Lots of the things that I have planned have not gone the way I wanted them to. It is disappointing and frustrating, but it is life. I knew somethings would pretty much crash and burn so that is why I spent my money on those things. In special circumstances things like that happen. Better to be prepared and not needed, then not have it. Now that we are getting back to a semi settled way of life I can adjust again.
So what is next? I don’t know just yet to be honest. I haven’t figured that out. Four more weeks of 40 hour work weeks for sure. Maybe start attending group again. Maybe get back to the gym. Maybe. Lots of Maybe(s). Today however is dedicated to quiet pondering.