Bathroom, scale and sickness

Hi there.  It has been a while.  I haven’t felt much like writing.  I have been under the weather.  Which is causing weight loss issues.  But the good news is we have a rocking bathroom. Lol.

We started the new work schedule today.  Have to say it is pretty fucking boring being alone on shift. Yes I stay busy, but still it is a change.

I got a gym membership the other day but I haven’t gone yet.  I am still tired and find myself dragging.  I just need to find the motivation.

OK this is very short but I will be back soon.  Just need a little time to rest up.

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cindyisms.com

Look Ma I am now a .Com! That’s right I am moving on up (with the help of my brother).  It’s kind of cool and may even motivate me to write more.

It’s 4:30am and  I am awake. I took a nap that turned in a slumber this afternoon.    So I am watching Practical Magic.

I am feeling pretty good. I have been on Purees since Tuesday.  It is hit or miss on what works and what doesn’t.  Scrambled eggs are difficult, but tuna and refried beans are OK.

Well feeling a loss for words. So I think I am going to call it a night.

 

 

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55lbs

 

This is me!

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The Problem With Late Afternoon Naps

Is that it results in later bedtimes. But tomorrow my hope is to get back on track.
Today was just a cluster fuck that turned into a learning experience. I was not prepared to be out for more then an hour or so today. I was actually out four hours. I didn’t have my protein, extra water or extra pills. Luckily I am in very good health so other then being a little overly tired I was ok. BUT that is the kind of shit I need to prepare for. So I have a extra lunch bag that I will stock with supplies for the future.

Leg is still bothering me, but certainly nothing unbearable. I just had Tylenol and that will help me sleep.

Tomorrow or later today according to the clock I go to see the surgeon. A post op visit. I don’t expect any surprises, but I am prepared.

Been doing some coloring. It passes the time and keeps me busy when I start worrying about the things I can’t control.

Currently Cali and I are snuggled up in bed. Lilly will show up in her own sweet time. I think I am going to read for a half an hour or so.

I am so damn lucky friends and I know it. I was killing myself slowly. I am not going to dwell on how stupid that is. I am just going to be thankful I finally pulled my head out of my ass. Good night friends.

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Pain Meds and a Little Visit

Good evening my dear Friends. Just a quick FYI I already took my pain meds so I may fade on you.

It is Sunday night and surgery was Tuesday. I stayed two nights in the hospital because I kept throwing up.

Doing really well I think. But we will hear from the professionals tomorrow. Getting in my protein, most of my water, my required meds and am starting to get the needed vitamins in.

I had visitors come by for a visit and brought me beautiful flowers.

Momma has been taking such good care of me and I am glad she is here. I am pretty stable but knowing she is here when I am in the shower and having her check on me when she gets up to pee and I am sleeping is very cool.

And the house looks so beautiful! Momma’s and my decorations together give this place a special feel. The birds in the doorway. The snowman in the window. And a big tree the girls can curl up under and nap.

Yes I have some pain,but what I mostly feel is loved and so very thankful!
Good night friends and sweet dreams!

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Unexpected Events

Good evening my friends. Taking a few minutes to update you on my little journey and what is new.

It is a little more then two weeks before my surgery and I am doing well. Today I had a craving for pizza. I did the calculations of the calories and satisfied the craving without falling off the wagon.

Momma and I also took a stroll through the plus size section at K-MART. This was an exercise for me to look at clothes and see what I like and what there is to look forward to as the weight comes off. I almost bought a sweater, but I know me. I would want to be able to wear it by Christmas and my focus would be on that. Not how I feel. And how I feel is a 1000% more important.

I am seven pounds away from achieving my presurgry goal of losing 50lbs. I know I can do it and I am feeling good about that. 50 pounds in three months before the surgery is a good start.

We have had a bit of a fincial snaffoo, but if I am smart I should be able to make it work.

We are having Thanksgiving at my house this year. Going to order the dinner from Meijer or Kroger and heat it up. Probably add a pie and sweet potatoes. I honestly just want the turkey leg and that is also a diet do, not a don’t.

Well I should probably get busy. Paperwork doesn’t do itself. Good night friends.

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Thanksgiving, Pink Cats & Sippy Cups

Hi there friends! It’s almost midnight and I am delighted to have a few minutes to visit with you.

All of the Halloween Decorations are down and put away until next year. Now we are decorating for Thanksgiving. I bought a light up window turkey and some cute window clings. Momma surprised me with a light up turkey, a cornocopia (sp?) and a pumpkin that says “Give Thanks”. And today we found a couple of things at the dollar store and I found a couple at Rite Aid. I love decorating for the holidays!

Tonight I ordered a long pink robe with cats on it with matching slippers. It has short sleeves and zips up the front. That way doctors and nurses can check whatever they need to, but my ass isn’t hanging out. The best part was I had a promo code for $20 off. So I got both pieces and shipping for $39. Definitely not a bad deal.

I bought myself a couple of sippy cups because I still chug my liquids. Also a couple 7inch plates and a baby spoon and fork. All to help teach me to talk smaller bites so I don’t make myself ill.

I think I have a pretty good handle on everything. 24 more days to go. I still struggle with portions but I am getting better.

Well I am going to say see ya later alligator and get busy doing some work. Take care!

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Popcorn and Eyeglasses

Oh my friends I am so happy to be visiting with you today! It is the first of November, twenty-eight days until surgery and forty pounds down. All that makes me extremely happy, but the struggle is still real.

Sunday I really wanted something crunchy so I decided to make some popcorn. I figured I would enjoy a bag because after the surgery it would be a long while if ever that popcorn and I could be friends again. I put it in the microwave and it smelled so good. I left it in a minute to long and burnt it. I should have taken that as a sign, but I wanted that popcorn so bad. I popped another bag, watching it closely and the minute is was ready pulled it out of the microwave. I sprinkled just a touch of cinnamon sugar on top and it smell like heaven in a bowl. Three handfuls in I decided that it was not what I wanted and tossed the whole thing in the trash. Not worth the calories and did nothing towards my protein intake. What did I have instead? Light & Fit Greek yogurt and two pieces of low-fat string cheese. Nothing crunchy there.

Lately when trying to read I find myself holding the reading material pretty far from my face trying to make the blurriness go away. Kind of tiring on the eyes and arms. So I decided it is time to get serious about eye care. I miss the old days when I got a little plastic card that had all the information about my vision insurance. It was so much easier than looking it all up and then calling around and finally getting all the information necessary to make a fucking appointment. But I waded through it all and I have an appointment tomorrow to get my pretty little peepers checked. I will have some down time after surgery so being able to read is a great way to have an adventure and pass the time.

Well time has slipped away from me and I have to get ready for work. Take care friends! Talk to you soon!

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Small Victories Ahead

What to say? What to say? I guess I should tell you up front in case my post gets a little nutty that I am dealing with a lot of changes right now. I know join the club. Well I am and I am doing okay with it. I freak out every couple of days and then I pull my shit back together. It used to be I would eat my way through my freak outs, but that friends is no longer an option. Neither is booze or weed so I am doing it the healthy way. Resting, thinking and writing.

When I tell people I am prepping for surgery some respond with they are thrilled for me. Others like really?? And some with concern. None of these things are wrong, but after the 10th or 11th time of dealing with it, it gets a little old. Granted that is on me for wanting to be open and honest about what I am doing and I do respect people’s opinions, but it is my journey to make.

So I have lost 30 pounds and it is a victory. I put jeans on that were to tight today. I can breathe and sit in them and that is a thrill. That is how I am going to look at this. Small victories and not get overwhelmed with the big goal. My next goal may seem strange to thin people but the next victory is doing up my seat belt in my car. Right now I click the belt and pull the shoulder strap over my head, but I want to do it the regular way.

Really when I think about it most of my goals are about being able to do things the “regular way” without preplanning and worrying. Things like are the seats going to big enough? Will I be able to make the hike without my knee going out? If I fall on the ice how will I get back up? All these things will become little victories along the way instead of worries.

Am I scared? A little. Of the surgery? No. Of failure. Is that going to stop me? No, but I will still occasionally freak the fuck out I can tell you that. But I have an amazing support system to talk me off the proverbial ledge. Can’t ask for more than that.

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Tons to Be Thankful For

Have I told you all lately that I am blessed? If I haven’t then I am such a huge asshole. The last couple of weeks have been crazy, but with that some very cool things have happened.

My Pure Romance Halloween Launch party was on the 7th. It was awesome. Fourteen beautiful women came to hang out, eat and shop. We also raised money for Autism Awareness. Everybody who came said they had a ball and loved the food.

I must take a few minutes to say a couple of thank yous to some remarkable people. My boss Amanda who went out of her way to help us hang curtains and change light bulbs. To Chris Murphy who helped hang photos and art. Put up decorations we couldn’t, hauled away a lot of junk and even made sure the lawn was cut. Thank you so much.

There are not words to say how thankful I am to my Mom. I was going to have people over, serve them a sub from Subway and see what happens. She worked to help me clean, decorated and provided food that my friends are still talking about. She allowed me to bounce different ideas off her and gave me her opinions on things. She charmed the shit out of my friends. Most of all she was there for me. When I was tired, cranky, bitchy or just feeling stressed the fuck out. My Mom is a hell of a best friend. Thank you Mom. I felt so adult and cool in our decorated and clean house. Love you.

My other blessing is my weight loss surgery has been scheduled for November 29th. That is basically four months after I started the process. I am so lucky that it is going so smoothly. Two weeks before I begin a liquid diet and then that Tuesday morning I will be going in for a sleeve. I am still in shock I think. But I am taking it one day at a time. If you pray I ask for you to pray that I don’t wig out. If you don’t pray send good thoughts my way. I am doing this, it is the right choice, but it is still scary.

Well my friends time for me to get busy doing work things. Take Care all and I will try to visit again soon.

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