Good evening my friends. Taking a few minutes to update you on my little journey and what is new.
It is a little more then two weeks before my surgery and I am doing well. Today I had a craving for pizza. I did the calculations of the calories and satisfied the craving without falling off the wagon.
Momma and I also took a stroll through the plus size section at K-MART. This was an exercise for me to look at clothes and see what I like and what there is to look forward to as the weight comes off. I almost bought a sweater, but I know me. I would want to be able to wear it by Christmas and my focus would be on that. Not how I feel. And how I feel is a 1000% more important.
I am seven pounds away from achieving my presurgry goal of losing 50lbs. I know I can do it and I am feeling good about that. 50 pounds in three months before the surgery is a good start.
We have had a bit of a fincial snaffoo, but if I am smart I should be able to make it work.
We are having Thanksgiving at my house this year. Going to order the dinner from Meijer or Kroger and heat it up. Probably add a pie and sweet potatoes. I honestly just want the turkey leg and that is also a diet do, not a don’t.
Well I should probably get busy. Paperwork doesn’t do itself. Good night friends.
Hi there friends! It’s almost midnight and I am delighted to have a few minutes to visit with you.
All of the Halloween Decorations are down and put away until next year. Now we are decorating for Thanksgiving. I bought a light up window turkey and some cute window clings. Momma surprised me with a light up turkey, a cornocopia (sp?) and a pumpkin that says “Give Thanks”. And today we found a couple of things at the dollar store and I found a couple at Rite Aid. I love decorating for the holidays!
Tonight I ordered a long pink robe with cats on it with matching slippers. It has short sleeves and zips up the front. That way doctors and nurses can check whatever they need to, but my ass isn’t hanging out. The best part was I had a promo code for $20 off. So I got both pieces and shipping for $39. Definitely not a bad deal.
I bought myself a couple of sippy cups because I still chug my liquids. Also a couple 7inch plates and a baby spoon and fork. All to help teach me to talk smaller bites so I don’t make myself ill.
I think I have a pretty good handle on everything. 24 more days to go. I still struggle with portions but I am getting better.
Well I am going to say see ya later alligator and get busy doing some work. Take care!
Oh my friends I am so happy to be visiting with you today! It is the first of November, twenty-eight days until surgery and forty pounds down. All that makes me extremely happy, but the struggle is still real.
Sunday I really wanted something crunchy so I decided to make some popcorn. I figured I would enjoy a bag because after the surgery it would be a long while if ever that popcorn and I could be friends again. I put it in the microwave and it smelled so good. I left it in a minute to long and burnt it. I should have taken that as a sign, but I wanted that popcorn so bad. I popped another bag, watching it closely and the minute is was ready pulled it out of the microwave. I sprinkled just a touch of cinnamon sugar on top and it smell like heaven in a bowl. Three handfuls in I decided that it was not what I wanted and tossed the whole thing in the trash. Not worth the calories and did nothing towards my protein intake. What did I have instead? Light & Fit Greek yogurt and two pieces of low-fat string cheese. Nothing crunchy there.
Lately when trying to read I find myself holding the reading material pretty far from my face trying to make the blurriness go away. Kind of tiring on the eyes and arms. So I decided it is time to get serious about eye care. I miss the old days when I got a little plastic card that had all the information about my vision insurance. It was so much easier than looking it all up and then calling around and finally getting all the information necessary to make a fucking appointment. But I waded through it all and I have an appointment tomorrow to get my pretty little peepers checked. I will have some down time after surgery so being able to read is a great way to have an adventure and pass the time.
Well time has slipped away from me and I have to get ready for work. Take care friends! Talk to you soon!
What to say? What to say? I guess I should tell you up front in case my post gets a little nutty that I am dealing with a lot of changes right now. I know join the club. Well I am and I am doing okay with it. I freak out every couple of days and then I pull my shit back together. It used to be I would eat my way through my freak outs, but that friends is no longer an option. Neither is booze or weed so I am doing it the healthy way. Resting, thinking and writing.
When I tell people I am prepping for surgery some respond with they are thrilled for me. Others like really?? And some with concern. None of these things are wrong, but after the 10th or 11th time of dealing with it, it gets a little old. Granted that is on me for wanting to be open and honest about what I am doing and I do respect people’s opinions, but it is my journey to make.
So I have lost 30 pounds and it is a victory. I put jeans on that were to tight today. I can breathe and sit in them and that is a thrill. That is how I am going to look at this. Small victories and not get overwhelmed with the big goal. My next goal may seem strange to thin people but the next victory is doing up my seat belt in my car. Right now I click the belt and pull the shoulder strap over my head, but I want to do it the regular way.
Really when I think about it most of my goals are about being able to do things the “regular way” without preplanning and worrying. Things like are the seats going to big enough? Will I be able to make the hike without my knee going out? If I fall on the ice how will I get back up? All these things will become little victories along the way instead of worries.
Am I scared? A little. Of the surgery? No. Of failure. Is that going to stop me? No, but I will still occasionally freak the fuck out I can tell you that. But I have an amazing support system to talk me off the proverbial ledge. Can’t ask for more than that.
Have I told you all lately that I am blessed? If I haven’t then I am such a huge asshole. The last couple of weeks have been crazy, but with that some very cool things have happened.
My Pure Romance Halloween Launch party was on the 7th. It was awesome. Fourteen beautiful women came to hang out, eat and shop. We also raised money for Autism Awareness. Everybody who came said they had a ball and loved the food.
I must take a few minutes to say a couple of thank yous to some remarkable people. My boss Amanda who went out of her way to help us hang curtains and change light bulbs. To Chris Murphy who helped hang photos and art. Put up decorations we couldn’t, hauled away a lot of junk and even made sure the lawn was cut. Thank you so much.
There are not words to say how thankful I am to my Mom. I was going to have people over, serve them a sub from Subway and see what happens. She worked to help me clean, decorated and provided food that my friends are still talking about. She allowed me to bounce different ideas off her and gave me her opinions on things. She charmed the shit out of my friends. Most of all she was there for me. When I was tired, cranky, bitchy or just feeling stressed the fuck out. My Mom is a hell of a best friend. Thank you Mom. I felt so adult and cool in our decorated and clean house. Love you.
My other blessing is my weight loss surgery has been scheduled for November 29th. That is basically four months after I started the process. I am so lucky that it is going so smoothly. Two weeks before I begin a liquid diet and then that Tuesday morning I will be going in for a sleeve. I am still in shock I think. But I am taking it one day at a time. If you pray I ask for you to pray that I don’t wig out. If you don’t pray send good thoughts my way. I am doing this, it is the right choice, but it is still scary.
Well my friends time for me to get busy doing work things. Take Care all and I will try to visit again soon.
Life is usually a bit of a race. Right now I am trying to cram a lot in and it is a bit overwhelming. I am lucky enough to have a great support system, but it is still rough.
The weight loss journey is progressing, at a nice pace. My appointment to see the surgeon was cancelled due to him being stuck in surgery. I certainly can’t be upset with that. After all if it were me I would hope for the same. So it has been rescheduled for October 11th. Which makes it after the party and the Seminar for my PR (Pure Romance)business.
The planning for the upcoming appears to be complete, but Momma will look at me and say, “I was thinking…” and maybe something will change. I have no idea exactly how many guests are coming I have a lot of maybes. Which makes me nervous. What if there isn’t enough seating, goodie bags or food? Fucking “what if’s” I hate them.
As for my regular job I am finding myself still doing the best job when I am there, but the bullshit politics and double standard are making it easier and easier to leave when the time comes.
Been thinking about my brothers a lot this week. With the holidays coming up I would really love to continue the tradition of spending Christmas Eve together. I am not sure where to hold said gathering. Our houses are all a little small so maybe renting a party room for the afternoon at a restaurant might be an option. If we decide to do that we will have to reserve earlier enough in the season. It is something to discuss.
Well it is time to go pack my lunch and get ready to go to work. Stay warm and dry on the rainy day!
Hi there. Well it has been over a month since I last posted. I got no excuses I just suck. There has been a lot of stuff going on and I am excited to tell you about the process.
First of all let me tell you that Hummus isn’t all that bad. Put some cut up olives on it and spread it on celery or cucumbers and it is pretty tasty. I have also found a fondness for egg beaters. Who even knew that was possible.
At this juncture I have lost about 20lbs. Which isn’t a lot but it is a good start. I kept all my appointments and have been doing all the things that they have asked of me. Hell I fell off the waggon, but I managed to climb back on. My blood pressure is great and the weight loss doctor thinks I will be able to come off my blood pressure meds next month.
I received clearance from all the specialists and doctors so I was able to schedule my presurgical consult with the surgeon. That will be next Tuesday. I am excited and at the same time a tad bit scared. He may not feel that I am ready yet. Or he may feel that I am. Both are equally scary. I have been the fat chick my entire life. Hidden behind my protective layers of fat. To lose that is going to be hard. To find out who I am with a regular size ass is scary.
So if all goes well we will set a surgery date. I just would like to do it sooner then later. Before the snow falls. Because being stitched up and dealing with snow and ice sure doesn’t sound fun.
So wish me good luck my friends. I am trying hard not to freak the fuck out. Baby steps, more baby steps.
I must confess I haven’t been much of a menu planner or shopper. Actually let’s amend that and add never much of a menu planner and shopper for myself. For the group home I did it all the time.
But when I started this journey I knew a lot of things would have to change. So I just planned out the menu and shopping list for the next three days.
You might want to not believe this, but I am not a person to try new things. But I am making a Mediterranean meal that uses Hummus for lunch one day. I figured what the hell let’s try it. I will let yoi know what Momma and I think of it.
As long as I live I will never like shopping. I hate it. Making decisions and checking labels is a pain in the ass. But I can’t deny after paying more attention to what I eat I feel better. AND the added bonus of all the extra steps I take trying to find this stuff. Every step counts.
So I am feeling pretty damn proud of myself and my Momma. We are putting in the work and seeing results. Can’t ask for more then that. Well maybe a personal shopper and a chef. Lol yeah sure. Take Care Friends
I think I may have touched on it, but not in much detail. I am making the biggest change of my life and gaining control of my health, more specifically my weight. Just a few days before I turned 44 I decided to attend a weight loss seminar at Beaumont. I had done this once before and decided I wasn’t ready. This time I went for the weight loss program and the bariatric seminar. I came home weighed my options and said fuck this let’s do this.
I made my appointment for my evaluations and I just had them a week ago. I was considering the sleeve, but after talking to the doctor we decided on the bypass. I just have so much weight to lose it’s the better option. They did blood work and measurements. I got weighed and when the scale said 480 I nearly shit my pants. 20 pounds less then 500, that was an eye opener.
Then I met with the dietitian. She gave me a 1,200 to 1,600 calorie diet (guideline) with menu ideas and other information. Now I used to just drink that amount in Pepsi so I was concerned about that. But as it turns out that is A LOT of food when you are eating healthy. More then I am used to so it is a bit of a struggle. But I started on Saturday the 13th and the clock just chimed that today is the 18th and I am on track and no Pepsi has flown over my lips.
I also met which the Psychologist who feels I have some self esteem issues I need to work on as well as not being a caregiver for everybody in the free world. Baby steps on that too.
And the I met with the exercise specialist. I am going to begin with just walking. Increasing the walking by 10% each week. Because I weigh so much that in itself is a lot to ask this body to handle right now. But as the weight drops the exercise program will evolve.
On this journey I am using the My Fitness Pal app to log my meals, calories and water. I am using a FitBit to keep track of my sleep (or lack of) and my steps per day. Hopefully these tools will keep me on track.
Oh and I can”t forget about using this blog too as a tool to handle the emotional shit that comes up. I will be on a whole more frequently now. I want to document the journey for others that are thinking about it and for myself. So I can remind myself why in the hell I am doing this in the first place.
Well it is bedtime now. With out the Pepsi sleep is a big deal. Need way more then I used to. Goodnight friends.
I told myself when I finally began this weight loss journey I would document it through my blog. So here it goes. Early morning of day four and it fucking sucks.
My schedule is all messed up. I am having problems getting all the meals in and I really want to sleep. I mean ALL the time.
I haven’t cheated nor do I even want to but the lack of energy is killing me. Momma and I went to the store and by the time we were done I just felt like crying. What the fuck is that about?
I know it will get better every single day but the start is rough.