Yesterday I had a pretty busy day in the kitchen. That’s right I said kitchen. I made a wonderful bariatric cheeseburger pie with broccoli tots and for dessert Flourless half the sugar peanut butter cookies.
I am actually enjoying it now and I really like cooking for my family on my day off. I always have a feeling in the back of my mind that I may accidentally poison them. So I am thrilled when things turn out well.
I actually have a binder with recipes in it. Things that I would like to try. I am making my way through it slowly. Next I am thinking chicken parmesan or eggroll in a bowl.
Who knows maybe one day I will be so good I can make a whole healthy feast with no poisoning concerns. Lol
Yep that is right after years of being the nice and helpful staff/boss I have had enough. Today was just the first of many days where I am going to start telling it like it is again. It has been a while since I used this approach. Mostly because I thought that I had developed relationships with people that meant something. But in the last month I have learned what I am is that totally awesome person others can count on, but has very few people I can say that about in return.
My life doesn’t really matter to them. I mean sure if I died they would notice, but my life means nothing to them. As long as they get the time off they need, the help when they need it and someone to cover their ass it’s all good. But when I need the same I get it’s to far to drive, I just got busy, I don’t have a sitter or my favorite I didn’t know that.
So today I spoke up. It is not fair that the boss and I are covering the open shifts every weekend. It is not fair that we have to go behind people who have been doing this job for a awhile now and remind them what their job entails. Enough is enough.
Frankly when push comes to shove now I find myself feeling very little for those whom up to a month ago I considered friends. Last minute invitations to parties, not being honest about your life. Not supporting me in my adventures show the very one sidedness of our relationship.
So here is the bottom line on all of this. I will work the open shifts because it is a requirement of my job. I will double check your paperwork because that is ALSO a requirement of my job. But I will not be going out of my way to help cover your shifts or do the things I used to do as kindness. Correct you own mistakes, fill up the fucking van and when I leave instructions do it. Don’t give me excuses.
Happy Valentines Day my friends. I hope that it is everything that you wanted. I am amazed how different my life is this year. I have no desire for chocolate or roses. I am so thankful for just having the people here in my life.
Yesterday we got some good health news for DJG. Nothing wrong with the blood. Which is excellent news considering all the things he has been dealing with right now.
I got good news today. I am coming off my blood pressure meds for three weeks to see if I can come off of them completely. The first time in ten or so years. I have to take my blood pressure twice a day and keep track of the numbers. If there isn’t a significant increase I can stop them for good. Woo-Hoo!
I am still having a weight loss stall. I will talk to the dietitian about that on the 22nd. I may need to change how I get my protein or increase my calories. One thing I do know for sure is I need to increase my exercise. I know that will be a discussion point.
So Momma and DJG are having tacos for dinner which sounds Yummy. I am going to have a piece of turkey burger. Which is also Yummy with the right seasonings.
I actually think I might be figuring out what I want to do when I grow up. I think I am going to get my CNA and become a nurse’s aid. Because I know I want to continue to help people, but direct care you can’t pay the bills doing it. I would actually like to work with other bariatric patients on the weight loss journey. Who better to help, then a person who is walking the same path.
Well I think it is time to plan out my meals for the rest of the day and get cleaned up. Have an Amazing Valentine’s Day!
Hi there. Here is something that has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now. In my close family I am I think one of the few that actually believe in God. Which is cool. I respect that we all have various opinions and I love everybody even more for because they can openly express those differences with one another. There is a point to this I swear.
When I was prepping for my bariatric surgery one of the things I did consider is it is a major surgery and there are life threatening risks. I prayed about that A LOT. I prayed for the strength to survive it and if that didn’t happen I prayed for strength for my family. If you don’t believe in prayer that is cool, but for me it was a comfort when I was going to bed the night before to have this conversation with God.
The day of the surgery I looked as cool as a cucumber. That was the way I was supposed to look. I had my Momma and my soul mate there with me and they sure didn’t need the extra worry. On the inside I was saying some serious prayers.
In the operating room as I was lying there waiting to be knocked out and the surgery to begin. I looked up at that plain white ceiling and I made my last plea or more like bargain with God. I said if I survived the surgery I would do everything the doctors told me, exercise as I was instructed and go to church every Sunday.
Now you and I know whether you are a believer or not that you don’t actually bargain with God. Whatever is supposed to happen just happens, but at that time I was scared as hell so I bargained. Lucky for me I woke up and as you all also know other then a lingering cold I have been blessed with being very healthy. Thank God.
I am ashamed to say that I have not followed through with my bargain. I do what the doctors tell me, but I have not done the exercise as I promised and I have not been to church. Those are two situations I plan to rectify today. It is Sunday which makes it an ideal day to get started. Go to church and go to the gym. Why not? What will it hurt? Certainly not my health and maybe it will lift my spirits.
Until I found myself in a situation where I didn’t know if I would ever take another breath again I didn’t know how I would react. Does my reaction shock you? Was it different than you anticipated? It was for me, but it was cool too. I didn’t know for sure that I still believed as strongly as I do.
Well friends time to shower and dress for church. Have a great day. I know I will. Also a side note friends. No matter what you believe or don’t believe remember my love for you is forever. The differences are what make us special and unique. Take care!
Hi friends! I am still sick, but I hope I am at the tail end. My new schedule is interesting and I am unsure how I feel about it. The idea of three days off is nice, but it is strange to me.
Working alone is kind of cool. I stay busier and I know things are done the way I like them.
I broke out of the 400’s this week. So that is 85 pounds gone. I am proud of that. I am still having a hard time getting all my protein in but as I feel better it will get easier.
I really want to do something to bring the smiles back to the house, but I am not sure yet what to do. But I will think of something.
Hi there. It has been a while. I haven’t felt much like writing. I have been under the weather. Which is causing weight loss issues. But the good news is we have a rocking bathroom. Lol.
We started the new work schedule today. Have to say it is pretty fucking boring being alone on shift. Yes I stay busy, but still it is a change.
I got a gym membership the other day but I haven’t gone yet. I am still tired and find myself dragging. I just need to find the motivation.
OK this is very short but I will be back soon. Just need a little time to rest up.
Look Ma I am now a .Com! That’s right I am moving on up (with the help of my brother). It’s kind of cool and may even motivate me to write more.
It’s 4:30am and I am awake. I took a nap that turned in a slumber this afternoon. So I am watching Practical Magic.
I am feeling pretty good. I have been on Purees since Tuesday. It is hit or miss on what works and what doesn’t. Scrambled eggs are difficult, but tuna and refried beans are OK.
Well feeling a loss for words. So I think I am going to call it a night.
Is that it results in later bedtimes. But tomorrow my hope is to get back on track.
Today was just a cluster fuck that turned into a learning experience. I was not prepared to be out for more then an hour or so today. I was actually out four hours. I didn’t have my protein, extra water or extra pills. Luckily I am in very good health so other then being a little overly tired I was ok. BUT that is the kind of shit I need to prepare for. So I have a extra lunch bag that I will stock with supplies for the future.
Leg is still bothering me, but certainly nothing unbearable. I just had Tylenol and that will help me sleep.
Tomorrow or later today according to the clock I go to see the surgeon. A post op visit. I don’t expect any surprises, but I am prepared.
Been doing some coloring. It passes the time and keeps me busy when I start worrying about the things I can’t control.
Currently Cali and I are snuggled up in bed. Lilly will show up in her own sweet time. I think I am going to read for a half an hour or so.
I am so damn lucky friends and I know it. I was killing myself slowly. I am not going to dwell on how stupid that is. I am just going to be thankful I finally pulled my head out of my ass. Good night friends.
Good evening my dear Friends. Just a quick FYI I already took my pain meds so I may fade on you.
It is Sunday night and surgery was Tuesday. I stayed two nights in the hospital because I kept throwing up.
Doing really well I think. But we will hear from the professionals tomorrow. Getting in my protein, most of my water, my required meds and am starting to get the needed vitamins in.
I had visitors come by for a visit and brought me beautiful flowers.
Momma has been taking such good care of me and I am glad she is here. I am pretty stable but knowing she is here when I am in the shower and having her check on me when she gets up to pee and I am sleeping is very cool.
And the house looks so beautiful! Momma’s and my decorations together give this place a special feel. The birds in the doorway. The snowman in the window. And a big tree the girls can curl up under and nap.
Yes I have some pain,but what I mostly feel is loved and so very thankful!
Good night friends and sweet dreams!